It’s not often that I say my Parents “Taught” me something that was wrong. For the most part, if anything, my parents definitely taught me the right way to live, they just might have not SHOWN me the correct way all the time. As I was eating lunch I saw a group of kids playing. The way they were speaking to each other was painful. They were so young and yet they spewed out so much negativity and hatred for each other. I thought to myself, “Some of these words will have a lasting effect on some of them”. It’s not just the kids, today’s adults tend to have verbal diarrhea and are praised for it. Uncouth is the new decorum. That’s when it hit me, my parents, along with so many others, taught me wrong.
“Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Dumbest quote ever. Words not only hurt, they do something even more dangerous, they linger. Words have the ability to make you feel ugly, useless, and worthless. I have witnessed someone’s words move a person towards anxiety, depression, and even suicide. You are probably thinking to yourself: “that’s just weak people, I’m stronger than that, I’m mentally stable so verbal abuse doesn’t affect me, we’re adults grow up, If you are offended by my words unfriend me”. You will be well within your rights to think that way. However, let’s do a quick honest examination. Have you ever gotten fired or laid off? Hearing those words, how did it affect you? Have you ever been cheated on? Every time you hear that person’s name it probably robs you of your joy. Have you ever been called ugly or had someone tease you for a flaw? Have someone ever spoken against your family, children, or a close loved one? Have you’ve ever heard words of hatred towards your race?
I remember the news showing a woman’s weight loss journey motivated by her husband’s infidelity. She read the words he called her in a txt to his mistress: Disgusting, Fat, Lazy, and Ugly. Although it motivated her to lose weight, some two years later, you could still hear the pain in her voice as she recanted the story. She spoke of the emotional damage it caused. How it reshaped her thinking. Grown women of color still battle with the words dark skinned & light skinned. Immigrants and half the nation are offended every time the 45th elected president speaks. Even in the work place, trainings have been put in to place that assist with team building jargon. Words play a huge part in our lives. More than we give credit for.
On the other side, words have the ability to motivate, build up, comfort and uplift. Words can make us feel good inside. Words can heal a figurative broken heart. Words have made children, stopped kids from crying, brought people from comas, stopped wars from taking place, and brought hope. Words have caused men and women to cry with joy and excruciating pain. It all just depends on how we use them. Our children are watching us. hate, malice, and deceit, are learned behaviors. Words have power for good and for bad.
How will you use your words?