Life brings us many ups and downs without any help needed from us. Loss of a loved one to death, layoffs, unexpected additions to family, life. Life happens. Then there are times where we take ourselves on a roller coaster, by starting new endeavors. A new relationship, a new business endeavor, new position at work, education etc. can send us in a world wind. When you’re up, its beautiful, business booming, relationship blossoming, getting good grades in school. When you’re down it’s an entire different monster. Your ups and downs don’t have a time limit. They are just there and they burn out when they burn out. Sometimes things hit you all at once.
“If they cannot handle you at your worst, the do not deserve you at your best” – People who Love themselves
- Business
I state this all the time “BE YOUR OWN CHEERLEADER”. Everyone is not going to see your vision when it comes to creating/innovating. People are always begging for support. Stop looking for support just grind and grind. The support will come from the people who matter. You will cross 3 key (maybe more) of people when you launch your business/idea:
- Short-term supporters: The ones who RAH RAH RAH for you in the beginning because everyone else is but then burn out quickly once the smoke clears. They also revive themselves if you start “poppin” again, they will remind you they were there from the beginning.
- Shadow Supporters: People who watch your every move (possibly to copy/steal ideas). They give you a thumbs up from a far but don’t support anything you do. They make sure they don’t hate as well JUST in case you “make it big” and they want to “collaborate”.
- Long-Term Supporters: Family and friends who will always be there no matter what. The Memphis Bleeks of the world. These people deserve you at your best.
The biggest issue successful people have is bringing people along who wasn’t there “Shooting in the gym” with them. When things get tough those are the ones who scatter. Roadblocks and failures bring on depression and it’s not a pretty sight. If a person backed you when you were dead broke, putting all your funds into your ideas when some of them were failing, they are the ones who deserve to celebrate with you. No they don’t have to be at every corner, life has everyone busy, but you know what support looks like. When they do something only to benefit you solely then that’s support.
- Marriage/Dating
People love to celebrate people at their best. Why not right? It’s a beautiful thing to see someone prospering and happy. We love to share in happiness. However, it’s during those times when things go completely wrong that some humans “can’t handle it”, “can’t handle you”. I watched my father not be able to “handle” my mother’s chronic illness. During a time when she needed him the most he deserted her because he couldn’t handle “It”. He left her with 5 young children to raise on her own. What ever happened to for better or for worse? It’s like the first sign of trouble married people tend to run or look outside of their marriage. Possibly because they didn’t practice loyalty and commitment in the dating phase. If they tell you “it’s too much for me to handle”, “you have a lot going on”, then they need to feel that way once you become successful. Just because a guy has been laid off and is looking for work, or doesn’t make much money, doesn’t mean he’s un-dateable. You don’t know his life, he might have savings, he might be launching his own business, you never know. If said guy takes a woman on a date and she says she can’t handle that, then it’s unfair to him for her to wait until he stacks his coins and for her to come reap the benefits of this man.
Now I’m not saying it’s unfair for her not to want a man that has been laid off or doesn’t make as much money. What I am saying is it’s unfair for him to get with a woman that’s not willing to ride when he push the car, but once he’s rolling she wants to hop in the passenger seat. People have this mindset that you have to be perfect while its ok for them to be imperfect (completely FUBAR). Once you reach their comfort level they want to hop on the “you” train. You stabilize yourself emotionally, get a good job, lose weight, there they come. The woman that knows you’re broke from those student loans but still will dress to the nine, laugh and be good company at a byob pizza spot, deserves a clean cut man and a nice steak when he has a surplus. Sometimes people just don’t understand how little it takes for you to be there for someone. A kind word, a conversation, a listening ear, has gotten me through plenty of days.
Bottom line is know your value. Don’t put yourself on layaway or clearance. Don’t give out coupons or rain checks for you. You deserve to be couture, only available for those who can afford you – #TotallyRandie
Deserve is such a powerful word.