If you know me, you know that I can be a bit of a brat. I love my freedom, sushi, a good cocktail, and of course travel. However; this isn’t me saying that I’m upset about not being able to go to Bali this winter, or the fact that I can’t even take the edge off my day by having cocktails and sushi with friends. This is me stating that: Every pregnancy is different, and every woman has the GOD GIVEN right to experience it differently. For the women who are unable to have children, or who struggles with pregnancy, I promise I am not being insensitive. I sympathize with you and I am not asking to NOT be pregnant. As a woman who suffers with fibroids, I am beyond grateful for my “miracle baby”. According to my doctor, he’s not even supposed to be here. For the women who are skin glowing, perfect belly shaped, lovers of pregnancy, I’m happy for you. May you have all the praise and foot rubs in the world. But as for me, TotallyRandie, I hate being pregnant.
The Physical
Pregnancy is tough. It does a number on our bodies and hormones. What was once a normal day, is now a challenge for me. Its emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. For all you “sleep when I’m dead people”, imagine if one day sleep actually stopped working for you. I once was so tired that I slept for 14 hours, only to wake up and feel as if I had never went to sleep. I still feel that way many days. Sleep just doesn’t work no matter how early I clock out. Now, I am a great aunt so I already heard the horror stories of what women go thru to create a little human with skin, toes, and a central nervous system. However, I never thought it would be this tough. According to the women in my family, I am having a pretty smooth ride. What does that mean?
My smooth ride has been no morning sickness, but early Braxton Hicks (basically pre-labor cramps), massive diarrhea and extreme exhaustion. I go temporarily blind at times, and if he doesn’t like something, which has been twice, he made sure I regurgitated it. Couple that with excruciating headaches, constant burping, swelling feet, gas; and now approaching 28 weeks, body cramping, burning urination (without a UTI or infection), sore bones/muscles, and you have the kiddie slide ride of pregnancies. Lennox is using my bladder as a trampoline, the chip on my shoulder has no balance, and everything hurts my feelings and makes me cry. Pimples come out of nowhere, and my neck is tanning. Just my neck. Nothing else. Just this black ring around the rosy neck. Grand!
The Mental
I found out I was pregnant with Lennox the day before my father’s memorial service. I didn’t think he would survive. Imagine my hormones already all over the place and I have to grieve my father. I tear up just thinking about it. Poor Lennox, I cried for months on end, every day. On top of everything, I have an extremely stressful job. My 9-5 would have been a breeze had I not came so highly recommended. I truly feel that if you are planning to have a baby, you shouldn’t have to work.
It’s already a job growing this little human in your body, why add a job. I wake up at 7am every day, get super stressed out to get home around 6 or 7pm every night only to maybe eat, have tv watch me and go to sleep. I don’t have time to do anything and it hurts me. I feel like I am robbing my child of the personalized attention every mother should give their growing babies. Congrats! I already feel like a bad mom and Lennox isn’t even here yet. I have to steal time in the morning to sing good morning, steal a moment in the shower, or on my car rides home I talk to him. I just want to enjoy my baby boy, not work myself til my water breaks only to be with him 6 weeks then leave to go back to work. But what choice do I have? I feel like Lennox has been cheated. This stresses me emotionally and mentally.
So now you know why I hate being pregnant. But honestly, what normal person likes pain they can’t even take simple meds to alleviate it? What person do you know just jumps at the opportunity to wear adult diapers in the case that they sneeze too hard? My fiancé feels like I am whining. Many will read this and miss the whole point, thinking that I am not appreciating the miracle of life that is taking place in side of me. If you are that person, you have that right, just like I have the right not to enjoy this process. But I am here and I am doing everything in my power to make sure my boy comes out healthy and strong. I love Lennox and every time he kicks, strikes, or swims across my belly (which is often), a smile sweeps my face. But I want my body back.
-TotallyRandie
I welcome all comments….even the negative ones
You know what my first pregnancy was horrible with Carma and Cheyenne I didn’t understand what the big deal was myself I was huge I mean huge o looked like shamu my feet were always swollen then I got pregnant with tre the easiest pregnancy ever hell I didn’t know I was pregnant with him until I was 5 months …. I’m happy for you this is your journey Chica but I promise when u see Lennox that first time all this will be forgotten the tears of joy will take over you …congrats Neshia I’m so happy for you let me know when the shower is ….
Love candyce
Wow! That’s crazy! Yes i tip my hat to mothers, even more so to mothers who have done this process multiple times. Thank you sooo much for the kind words. Im so looking for to seeing my boy for the first time. Im excited and scared all at the same time. I love to hear mothers stories. Its something super magical about women.