Have a thief ever came and took you? Have you ever been minding your own business and all of a sudden you look up and you were gone? You are probably thinking to yourself of course not. That would imply you being kidnapped. How can you get kidnapped as a fully comprehensive adult? Well it happens everyday, people get stolen by multiple things, lust, by infatuation, by greed, but most of all by love.
You meet a person right after climbing yourself out of a vulnerable stage in life. You have learned from your mistakes and owned up to your actions. You are at a point in your life where now all you require is honesty. All you require is realness. You open yourself to the person and let them know exactly where you stand in life. You’re not looking to get involved with the person, but over time you feel a chemistry with this person. Although you take precaution, you allow yourself to unlock your heart for this person to come in, as they have done the same.
Life is good then all of a sudden it isn’t. Not only do they hurt you in a way that you beg them not too, but you find out that your whole time and existence with that person is based on a lie. What do you do? How do you react? It’s like being kidnapped as a baby by someone who just wanted a baby. They didn’t want you in particular but as you grew, as they continued to keep you they fell in love with you and you in love with them, only to find out they are not your parent.
Do you continue to love them? On top of the lie, they tell you to get over it. They hurt you and now they want you to just trust again. Now they want you to inadvertantly put your feelings on pause because they don’t want to deal with your pain. They don’t want to deal with your reaction to their betrayal because YOU should be GRATEFUL that they stole you in the first place. They love you now, what does it matter that they lied to you and broke your trust? They make you feel like your pain isn’t warranted. They are quick to just give you up. “Fine!” they say, “Leave! Go back home!”. Home? Where is home? What do you go back to? How do you get there. Are you strong enough to make that journey?
They took you from you. They took away your right to choose them, someone else, or yourself. You think back on the other people you met or could have met and you wonder what if I wouldn’t have given the thief a chance. So you become a shell of yourself. You put yourself on autopilot. Scared to make a move because you don’t know which move to make. Unsure of how to steal yourself back.
You know, I’ve never been in relationship that “debilitated” me once it was over. I’ve also never truly been in love until now. I’ve been hurt before, I’ve cried for days, I’ve been angry, but I tend to pick up and move on. Those relationships were lessons and preparations. Even when my marriage ended many years ago, I could only think of how it was not blessed, but how I was supposed to endure that fiasco for reasons I now know (and no, I was not in love with my ex-husband when I married him.)