There was a HuffPost article being shared on Facebook entitled: We Are the Generation That Doesn’t Want Relationships. My friends even shared the article. Every scroll showed a share where someone was stating how much truth the article shared. I agreed. The article read us for filth. So many cute ways she described our crazy when it comes to dating and relationships. She even stated that “We are a generation that doesn’t want relationships because deep down we do.” And while everyone was head nodding and shouting in agreement, no one thought to ask themselves: What’s the remedy?
So I thought of some problems as to why so many could relate to what she was saying, and decided to share some #TotallyRandie remedies. If you agree share the article, if you don’t thanks for reading.
1. Problem: Lack of Responsibility
We don’t want to be held responsible for anything. Everything is someone else’s fault. We don’t commit because we don’t want to be responsible for our selfish actions. “I’ll just hop from situationship to situationship until I’m “ready to settle down””. Or until people start making fun of you for being too old for cuffin’ season.
Solution: Be honest and upfront with what you want, and allow the person to CHOOSE if they want that as well or NOT. Lying strips a person of their choice and that’s when feelings get hurt and crazy experiences happen. Also mistakes happen, so don’t be overly afraid of committing to someone and hurting them because of your flaws. Nobody’s perfect, but you might be perfect for that special somebody.
2. Problem: Do it for the Gram!
We are dating our FB, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat. We spend most of our time on our phone. When we are not drooling over Instagram thots and male models, we are searching hashtags, trolling, typing woe is me statuses, changing relationship statuses, or stunt posting.
Solution: PUT THE PHONE DOWN! I feel like we have become a real life version of the movie Surrogates. We would rather date our phones. We tell the world our problems via tweets, blogs, and statuses. We would rather talk to complete strangers than to take out time to sit and share our thoughts with people who actually care about us. How can you want a relationship, a special human, to share life with if you would rather share your life online with the world? How do you want someone to brave the storm with if you don’t let them in? Additionally take some time to do real things with real humans. No I don’t mean go to happy hour and get drunk. I mean do real things like bike riding, painting, and dinner parties. Do something that will allow you to meet new people and expand your mental dimensions. Don’t let facebook groups be the only place you reside. Let the sun hit your face, take a walk, sign up for a kick-boxing class. Introduce yourself to something new.
3. Problem: We are Sooooooooooo Lazy.
We don’t want to work for anything. Just take a simple look at technology advancements. I mean I could literally touch a multitude of avenues where we want things quick fast and in a hurry.
Solution: Work for your relationships. (This is two-fold)
Dating: Men say women killed chivalry. A woman can’t take anything from a REAL Man. Men step up and ask that woman on a date. Stop making derogatory comments under pictures and ask her if she’s available this weekend. Stop over thinking first dates. More and more women are getting into sports nowadays. Mostly because they want to find a man or keep one. I KID! But seriously, take her to an amazing spot where you can watch the game and engage in competitive flirting. Trust me, a charming, attentive, and engaging date will always beat out a boring, dry, 200+ dinner date.
Relationship: Once you are dating. Continue working for it. Again, mistakes are bound to happen when you are in a relationship. What matters is how you overcome that mistake.
Example: A mistake occurred where trust has been broken. You have made strides not to make the same mistake again; however your recent patterns remind your partner of your mistake. Instead of getting mad at your partner and responding in an angry manor that they are insecure, need to grow up, or leave if they can’t trust you; how about acknowledging the fact that you could see where there suspicion is coming from and reassuring them that they have nothing to worry about. Think of it this way. Let’s just say you were falsely accused of something at work. An investigation takes place and your innocence is proven. Do you quit your job? Of course not. So if you have someone who you care about and is good to/for you, why would you allow their flaw (trust issue that you haven’t been helping them rebuild) to make you “fall back”. People often brag how strong their fall back game is. You know what’s even stronger, the art of forgiveness. Forgiveness is hard work. My parents 49yrs of marriage was built off the not being lazy in their relationship. Swallow your pride and do the work. I once heard a really amazing quote at a wedding ceremony: “A great marriage is the bringing together of two forgiving souls.”
4. Problem: Influence. Monkey see and by God do monkey do!
If you don’t believe that we are influenced by society ask yourself this simple question: 10 years from now, how many women do you think will have normal, non-surgically alternated bodies? I’ll wait.
Solution: Have your own mind! Stand for something or take a knee. In any case. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to looking for that someone to share the rest of your life with. Don’t get so caught up in hashtags that you begin to live your life that way. Don’t #NetflixAndChill if you are a #ReadAndConverse girl. Women don’t become promiscuous just because people say men are and it should be ok for women. Men stop being scared of the word thirsty and go for what you want. If they don’t respond move on. Men stop listening to rap lyrics calling women b****s & h**s, while saying they aren’t loyal, and thinking these are the women you are meeting. Men & Women STOP LOOKING AT THESE CELEBRITIES LIVES AND THINKING THIS IS YOUR LIFE! Do I have to repeat it? You are not Beyoncé, Kim Kardashian-West, Rihanna, Drake, Kanye, or Jay. You are Brittany, Ashley, Trina, Chris, Kevin, and Michael. Deal with each other accordingly.
If you want to add as well tweet me @TotallyRandie or comment below.